A trip to the dentist to ruin your smile

I've just come back from the dentist. And trying to think of a way of making a lot of money quickly. Do they still send children up chimneys?

I hadn't been to the dentist for over a year. The last time I went was for an emergency root canal while I was holidaying at the ITI in Gaming, Austria. I had terrible toothache, and rushed off to the local Austrian dentist who performed a root canal without anaesthetic. Uber schmertz. But a great consolation was that it was free, thanks be to an E111 card for englishmen abroad.

I realised I needed to go back to my local dentist last week as there's been a big gaping hole in my tooth where a filling fell out and half a tooth cracked off. This happened about three months ago...so finally managed to haul myself off there to have it all checked out this morning.

I've been told I need a crown on that tooth...costing £495. Also...hurrah...another tooth is needing a root canal - and to get to the root of that matter will cost me another £500. and a crown on top of that = £495 again. Meaning a total of £1500 !! What are these crowns made of? Her Majesty's jewels??

I was reluctantly told I could have the crowns done on the NHS...BUT..the poor dentists only get paid about £50 an hour for this work, she sobbed... and it would not be as 'good a job' as having it done privately. Of course not. And those poor dentists, scrimping and saving to earn a crust. I was almost in tears and ready to hand her a generous tip and tell her to crown them all...

Extremely unimpressed, I asked what the difference would be between a £160 NHS treatment and £500 private one. Do I get a cup of tea thrown in? A free toothbrush? Preferential treatment? "If you get it done on the NHS, we send the mould off in an envolope in the post, and it can easily get damaged" she explained. "pay for it to be done privately, and we send it by courier". Oh, I see. So for £340 extra, I get my mould gift -wrapped and hand delivered on a silver tray. I wondered whether I could hand-deliver it myself for cheaper?
"Can it at least be put in a padded envelope?" I asked. " well..." said the kindly nurse who probably wouldn't be paid any extra anyway, NHS or private "we do put it in a box and send it that way". So, to crown it all, I'm definitely going for the NHS option.

The root canal cannot be NHS'ed, for some reason (dentists very poor etc, living close to the poverty line no doubt). So either I co-incide terrible tooth pain with another holiday in Austria, or I find another way round it. What a shambles is the British NHS dental service.

Anyone got any ideas? Don't suggest piece of string tied to a door handle...

Easter eggs - hatched

Easter chicks are just so last century. Ducklings, on the other hand, rock.
See these pictures of our 4 new ducklings - hatched from their eggs on Good Friday. Good timing, ducks!

Loyal readers to this blog will understand my allegiance to all things duck. We hatched our original three Indian Runners a year ago, from eggs bought at a local farmers market and put under a broody chicken (as a bit of an experiment....but it worked.). Those three grew up, and we diagnosed one male (drake) and two females (ducks). They matured at age 6 months - the male got rather randy, and the females started laying two eggs a day (one each). Mother hen (the chicken) got broody a month ago - so we put some of the ducks' eggs (4 of them) under Mother hen, with the hope that she'd hatch them again. And she did. Sadly - the ducklings' father - whom we named 'Crispy' came to an untimely death by way of a nasty fox one evening (completely my fault as I had forgotten to shut their hutch that night). It was very sad, as I was most fond of that duck - a brilliant white...and quite the protector of his two 'wives' (or sisters?).

So the four eggs hatched on Good Friday - all Indian Runners and of different markings. Two have black feet and the others have yellow. Mother hen is doing a great job. She must wonder by now about her ability to mother ducks...she hasn't yet hatched a chicken. She must look at their webbed feet, roll her eyes, and blame their father. Anyhow, she is keeping them warm in this unusually cold Easter weather we're having here in England (it snowed yesterday). She will stay in her rabbit hutch with them for a few more days, until they're strong enough to go for a wander round the garden. So yes - we are a very 'modern family' - 4 ducklings, with mother-ducks that are sisters who don't know they've been born, fathered by their father duck who is also their uncle, who got eaten by a fox before-hatch. Fostered now by a chicken. And living in a rabbit's hutch.

Amazing duck fact: if a duckling is mothered by a duck, they can take to water almost immediately, as mother duck will coat their downy feathers with her own waterproof oils. A mother chicken, however, will not be able to do this...so never put incubated or chicken-reared ducklings into water...they won't be waterproofed and will likely drown. After a couple of months, they will start producing their own oils, and will take to water like water off a ducks back ;o). There - I told you that was an amazing fact.

Another amazing duck fact: Male ducks can be identified by a curly back tail feather. They also don't 'quack' like females - they more 'rasp'. Females don't have that curly tail feather. The feather will appear after about 12 weeks. Sexing ducks in other ways is pretty tricky...but still possible. There. Remember where you heard that amazing duck fact. It's bound to come up in Trivial Pursuit one day.

Coming back to blogging...

I'm thinking of returning to blogging.

I've realised of late that the last time I posted a blog here was August 2007. I'm therefore in dire risk of losing my vast readership who are no doubt defecting to other blog sites in such for wit and profundity.

So...maybe I'll give it another try. Thing is, I've been put off blogging because I've found it too time-consuming to contruct a decent-enough article. It's been too much effort, so I let it slide. However, looking at some of the thousands of other blogs out there (too many) it's clear that most of them are fairly random thoughts tapped out hastily on an almost-daily basis. So is more regular better than less? I dunno. I suppose a blog entitled 'daily brouhaha' should aim to be daily...rather than yearly. Alas, I'll give it a go, and aim to scribe some thoughts of what it means in this day-and-age to be a catholic Dad of (now) 4 children....with the thought that it may be interesting to a few somewhere in the world. Though probably not. We shall see.

Anyway - for the time being - back to work. 'Happy' Maundy Thursday. Did you know that yesterday was traditionally called 'Spy Wednesday'. Thanks to Joanna Bogle for that piece of info.